Apparently Texting is one of Life's Essentials

      Yesterday I was pretending to try to munch on my daughter's fingers which had her laughing hysterically. With a pretend pout I asked her why she wouldn't let me have just one little finger to snack on.  Her response?  Because when she is big enough to have a cell phone she won't be able to text! Of all the reasons to not want to give up a thumb!  Too funny..........

My New Year's Resolution

I don' usually do a new year resolution. But this year I'm changing that. Oh! I'm not promising to have one from now on, but this year, I have one.
  For Christmas I wanted to make my son a scrapbook with pictures we took of him on his birthday aboard a pirate cruise. I wanted to write it out like a children's story book starring him.  To do this though I had to first find the pictures.  I have a big black box I bought from a friend when she decided that selling Creative Memories would solve her financial woes (she doesn't sell it anymore) but this big box holds a couple thousand pictures - and I had this thing full.  While looking for the pirate pictures I found my baby pictures and the pirate pictures and everything in between.  Why have all these pictures if I'm just going to leave them in this box?  I got a paper bag and I dumped the box on my bed.  People, I looked at every last one of those photos! Some of them had been given to me by relatives and I had just tossed them in and had never actually looked at them.  Boy was that an emotional trip down memory lane.  Anyway, I tossed bad photos (remember film when you didn't know what you were gonna get??) and copies (I'm ashamed to admit how many times I must have double ordered double prints) and anything where I have multiple shots of the same thing (Do I really need 11 pictures of my son smiling at me from the bouncy seat in the same outfit?? I think not.) I tossed almost half that box. Then I went and bought myself a big album, just the kind you slide pictures into and I filled it with my pictures from my parents wedding picture to the day before I met my husband.  I organized everything left in the box so I can frame or scrap book it in the future and then I actually did get that book made for my son.
      But that was all before Christmas and leads to my New Year's Resolution.  I'm going to go through the pictures on my computer.  Yeah, this is worse than the box.  I never empty my memory chips so every time I hook my camera up it re-copies every picture onto my computer. The file labeled Halloween pics has everything from my sister's wedding two years ago to, well, Halloween. And every file is like that. Plus, pics that have been e-mailed to me or file shared, or, well, however it got there. The point is there are pics in the five digit range on my computer. I'm going through them, erasing duplicates ( How did I end up of 22 copies of the picture of the back of my head that my husband accidentally took that I thought I deleted off the camera???) getting them into the right file, deleting bad ones (see above mentioned picture). My hope is that by the end of the year, I'll have more of these printed and I'll have actually done something with them.  It's a lofty goal. But these are our memories, this is the story of our life. We only get one and I don't want to forget where we have been and the moments we have shared. But mostly, I don't want to be sitting here in another five years with an even BIGGER mess on my hands - better to start tackling this now.....

Mishap in Isle 4.....

I found myself in the grocery store last night standing in front of the hamburger helper section with a blank look on my face because my head hurt and I was tired and I did not want to make dinner. Of course this is where two people I know found me (why not in front of the gourmet baking isle??).  The first person who noticed me is not someone I know well or have even seen recently. I couldn't even remember her name but I was pretty sure I knew where I knew her from.  She jumped right into a nice long discussion about what she had been up to and her preparations for Christmas. Thinking she was one of the mothers from scouts I asked her if she had been to the tree lot yet (we are all taking turns volunteering there to raise money). The questioning look on her face made me realize I obviously didn't know her from scouts.  I quickly re-worded my question into a very generic one - something like " Have you gotten a tree yet?" while my mind raced to place her. Finally she made a reference to football (her son played on the same team as my son. There it is!).  The conversation went pretty seamlessly from there. Ugh but that was frustrating and I felt like a fool for not fully remembering her.  I wonder how obvious it was that I couldn't place her? Probably pretty obvious. An actual light most likely went off behind my eyes giving me away.  I know there have been times when I have talked to someone and I know she did not remember who I was.  I know there have been times when I have had no clue who someone is and I'm pretty sure I pulled it off too.  There's been times when I've just had to flat out ask, "who are you?" I feel like if someone has bothered to remember who I am I should be able to give them the same courtesy. Thank goodness the second person who came upon me was someone I know fairly well so my aching brain did not have to repeat the whole process. Though, on the other hand, the first woman saw me greet the other person and probably noticed the difference between that and how I greeted her...............ugh, my head hurts again..............   
                   So, what is the protocol when someone you vaguely remember starts talking to you like you are old friends?

Not the only broken light bulb.......

We set up the Christmas tree last night.  We got the thing standing and all plugged in and noticed that half a strand of lights were out. Anyone who has ever been in this situation knows that this means we have to go bulb by bulb to find out which one is out.  I get this brilliant idea that Hubby and I should each start on an end and work our way towards each other. So we sit down around the tree, each with a new bulb in hand and get to work. 
          We'd been sitting there for about five minutes when Hubby says from behind the tree, "Is your bulb in?".
          I tell him no and start to move on (5,4,3,2,1 and - ) "Oh My Gosh!!!" I gasp
          
          We could have past it if one of us had our bulb out while the other was trying the new one! How could we (yes, we. It was my idea but he went along with it gosh darn it!) not have thought of that??  Hubby decides we should just carry on but this time (I hate when he is smarter than me) we should make sure all bulbs are in at the same time. 
           So we continue on, testing each light, circling the tree on our butts when I hear him again from the other side, "Well, we are stupid. We should have just taken a glance at everything first." 
           "What? Why?" I'm afraid to hear the answer......
           "Because it's pretty obvious which one it out," He informs me. "This bulb is blown; completely shattered. Look." He hands me the broken little light. Yup, that would have been pretty noticeable if we had looked for it. 
            Stupid, stupid, stupid.  All I can say in our defense is.............ah..................ugh. I have nothing. 

      

      We called the kids back and and finished decorating the tree. As I looked on at the beautiful (fully lit) tree I thought of one thing to be grateful for; Thank goodness the kids were all still little and distracted by a Christmas movie while we blundered through that. Could you imagine how different that scenario would have been if we'd had three teenagers looking on??? (shudder)

Baby's don't just cause big tummies....

My sister is pregnant with her first child. She is about four months along and barely showing. She came here to have Thanksgiving with us and my five year old daughter was very excited to see her pregnant Aunt.  A few days into the visit I'm in the bathroom with my daughter brushing hair and this is the conversation that we have.

Her: I'm so happy for Aunty
Me: Why's that?
Her: Because she hasn't gotten big yet. But soon her tummy is going to get really big.
Me: Yep, that's true
Her: And her hips will get big and her butt will get big and then she'll know it's time to have that baby.
Me: choking on laughter....
Her: Then I really hope she gets to go back to her normal size. - for her I hope that.
Me: Wait, what????
Her: (with a look like I should know this stuff) Some mommy's still have big tummy's and hips and butts even after they have babies. I know. I've seen them.
Me: Well, that's true but I think you are right, I think Aunty will go back to her original size. 

We've never talked about people's size before.  I knew she had probably noticed that some are larger than others (it is the age for it after all) but for her to put it like that just cracked me up! Big hips?? Geesh!

Entering the Divorce Stage of Life

                It seems that I have reached that age where friends are no longer getting married but rather getting divorced.  It makes me quite sad and also causes me to feel a little guilty for being so happily married myself. I am also finding that most phone calls with friends are only about their respective divorces and never about any of my news.  The amount of times I have been told recently that this is "just between you and me and don't tell ANYBODY" is astounding.  What I want to do is tell all these people to try to make it work, stick out this rough patch, don't give up! But I know that a) no one will listen and b) that might not even be the right answer. 
              With all these friends going through this right now I find that my own life is altering. Couples night is out. Suddenly, Hubby  gets nervous at the mention of girls night because my friends are now trying to meet guys. Calling a girlfriend to vent is no longer an option as I will end up not getting to speak a word while they sob on the other end.  I feel terrible for them, these housewives forced back out into the world they have forgotten about by men they trusted to take care of them.  It terrifies me a little bit too. Not all these women saw it coming. Some, in fact, were caught completely off guard. Like my girlfriend who asked her husband on Father's Day what he wanted as a gift and he said a divorce. I wonder if there is a divorce lurking in my future that I cannot yet see. I wonder if my time is coming when Hubby will drop this bomb on me.  I don't think my life is heading that direction even remotely, but then, I wouldn't have been the only one so fully fooled. 
              I know the statistics, I see the numbers. More than half of all marriages end in divorce. I guess it is just different when it is happening around you to people you know and not just a number in the news. Hubby and I have been close to divorce before but somehow we've always managed to drag our mangled bodies out of the war zone and patch things up. Honestly, I think we are better people for it; we are definitely closer for it.  I want to tell everyone that they too can make it work, but I'm not that naive.  Instead, I am a silent confidant for those who need one; there are no words I can speak that will help them through this. It is their own journey. Instead of offering worthless advice to greived friends I plant a longer kiss on Hubby as he walks in the door. I snuggle closer at night. I bite my tounge on little critiques. There is no reset on life. I only get one shot to make this marriage work.  I wish the best to all these people - to anyone having to go through this heartache.

A Series of Mini Stories

   November has been crazy. We flew to Disney World, I flew to Minnesota and then drove to Minot North Dakota for my sister's wedding. I then drove back home with my sister and new brother-in-law because they were joining us for Thanksgiving. We spent two days cooking for the big day and had a wonderful time. Kids went back to school today and I am finally getting a chance to sit down here and write something. With so much having happened I have no idea where to start. So, I am going to tell a series of mini stories. Here goes.

The Long Walk 
I am in Milwaukee on a layover. All I have with me is a carry-on bag and my purse. I am wearing these ridiculously gorgeous and impractical boots because they won't fit into my bag.  I'm starving but I figure if I can at least get a coffee I will be okay. So, dragging my bag I start trekking up the ramp in these high heeled boots. I walk down two corridors before I finally find a place that sells coffee. I order, I wait, I pick up my steaming cup and walk back to my gate.  This entire process has taken me twenty minutes. I put the cup to my mouth and take a satisfying sip.............this is not what I ordered.

The Boot Exchange
There are six girls in my family and none of us share a shoe size. My youngest sister did not have a pair of boots to match her dress for the wedding so I had brought along an extra pair of boots (a big reason why I got stuck wearing mine through the airport). These boots were too big for me but too small for her so another sister wore my boots and gave hers to our baby sister.  It worked out great for the big day but there was quite a scramble to get all the boots back to their owners after the reception.  Having sisters is fun!

The Wedding Cake 
As with most things, when information passes through multiple hands it tends to get distorted. This must have been the case with the wedding cake because I can think of no other reason why, when the cake arrived, we were looking at a bright yellow cake with baby blue ribbons and black dots. Our initial response was to try to make it work and take cake pictures in black and white. But with one look at my sister's face I knew we had to take more drastic action. Thankfully, five phone calls later we were heading off to the ceremony with the understanding that a cake would be ready for us on time.  As soon as the ceremony was over the step-father of the groom rushed to the store to pick up the cake and I rushed to the reception hall to hide the old cake and have the place unlocked and ready for the new cake.  Luckily the new cake was all the right colors, a soft cream with teal ribbing and silver beads. And the rest of the evening went off without a hitch.

The Ceremony
We are not catholic. My sister's fiance's family is Catholic Orthodox. So throughout the service there is all this chant and response going on and we have no idea what to say or when to say it.  My sister and I are about to fall over in our high heels (I was the Maid of Honor) if the service took much longer when suddenly the Priest starts off on a rant about marriage in the news. The look of alarm on my sisters face was almost enough to make me stuff a doily in the old guys mouth but thankfully he stopped after a few painful minutes.  There are a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of symbolic steps that go into a Catholic Orthodox wedding. I do not recommend ever going to one.  My poor sister looked like she wished she wasn't there either. But, when one side takes it that seriously I guess you just need to comply. 

Road Trip 
I love road trips so I was looking forward to this one with my sister and new brother-in-law.  We had great conversations and debates, my sister and I napped frequently.  We drove through Chicago and Cleveland. All in all it was a really good trip. Except for one thing......My Husband is a speeder, not by a lot but you can pretty much bet he is going nine over the speed limit at all times. My new brother in law goes exactly the speed limit or even a little under. Sitting in the back seat watching the minutes add themselves to our arrival time on the GPS was near torture.  Every once in a while I offered to drive but (I guess it's a guy thing) he was determined to do the whole trip himself. He's a good driver, very smooth. By the last few hours of the trip I was ready to knock him out and stuff him in the back just so I could speed things up.  It didn't help when we realized that his GPS did not account for time change and we actually had an hour longer to go than we thought.  But.....we made it. Without anybody getting knocked out. 

Thanksgiving
I'm all about home cooked so I spent two days in the kitchen making two pumpkin pies, two apple pies, sweet potatoes, cookies, cheese ball, mini hot dogs is secret sauce, greenbean casserole, stuffing, a 20lb turkey, gravy,  cranberry mold and more. By the time we sat down to eat I was exhausted and barely ate a plate of food. I didn't mind though. I figured even with three men and two boys in the house there would be leftovers and I could eat more later.  Uhm, yeah, I was wrong on that one.  There was barely enough left for one serving of everything. But before I could get to it Hubby snatched it all up.  I feel like I missed out on Thanksgiving. But I learned my lesson. On Christmas Eve I'm hiding a plate of food for myself.  Can't fool me twice!