Caught Looking Goofy

         It's that time of year again.  School pictures are coming home and I get to see just how goofy my kids managed to look this year.  I have many of my own school pictures and most of them should be burned - they are soooo embarressing. Big plastic blue glasses, a bad hair cut, aweful clothes......  I have some of Hubby's too; let me tell you, when I first looked at both of ours I was a little concerned about what our kids would look like.
        Thankfully, we made pretty cute kids.  But cute kids can make weird faces as good as the rest of them.  I can't tell you how many pictures I can't use because one of the three of them is making a face.  Well, there was also that period where my oldest tried to look all gangster in every photo and ended up looking like he had no control over his limbs and was in pain - but we won't go there.
         I get handed the first envelope and with a deep breath I open it up. Wonder of Wonders! It is the best picture I've ever seen of my youngest son! He looks positively angelic! I am so thrilled!  With a lighter heart I open the second envelope. And........ there it is. Chin down, eyebrows raised, biting his top lip and crinkling his chin. My oldest's pictures are not going to be able to be passed around. Thank goodness for re-takes.
        I haven't seen my daughter's yet...........I hope she wasn't caught looking goofy.

Spent the Week in Disney World

      We just got back from Disney World.......Wow! What a fun time.  We have been before and each time we have such a good time and have new adventures. It truly is its own world.

      When you do a repeat activity like this it is easy to see how your children have changed.  My oldest didn't want to get pictures with any characters this year and when Drizzella (Cinderella's evil step-sister) kissed him on the cheek and left lipstick behind he had his hoody up to hide his face and was looking for the nearest bathroom to wash it off! Last year my middle son barely made the 48in height requirement for the biggest rides and was always getting measured. This year they didn't even glance at him as he walked by. He also pushed the stroller for most of the trip (such a sweetheart!).  My five year old daughter was so excited to see the characters and talk to everybody.  But then she noticed that during the fireworks Tinkerbell is on a zip line and not actually flying.   And then she noticed feet under the snowman's costume.  She felt so tricked and betrayed! This is all such a difference from not just our first visit but our trip just last year as well. 

        But enough about them and on to me! (hehe).  We had the dining plan in Disney which means TONS of delicious food.  I really waned to eat it all but there was just no way I could.  For one thing it hurt my

 stomach to even look at all that food but also I knew all too well that the pounds would be more than happy to attach themselves. I drank sugar free ice tea or water, avoided the fries and fried food and always left food on my plate.  Hubby on the other hand was eating all his food plus some of mine and the kids while drinking milkshakes and eating dessert.  

Yesterday morning was the moment of truth. I stepped on the scale.  Even with all that walking and never finishing my meals I still gained 2 1/2 lbs.  Hubby, well,  he lost four. Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggg!!!!!! I could have killed him dead right there! How is that fair at all?!?!?!? Why oh why does he get to LOOSE FOUR POUNDS and I gain two and a half???????. I ate less,  I took more steps with my shorter legs, I carried the backpack. It doesn't add up! Men suck. That's all there is to it.

On Empty

       My phone rang. It was a girlfriend of mine. "You're never going to believe this" she says "I ran out of gas across the street from you."
       She wanted to come sit with me until AAA could get to her but I had a can of gas in the garage, "Just sit tight for a sec" I tell her.  
        I grabbed my umbrella (Did I mention it was raining?) and went to the garage.  As I crossed the street a patrol car pulled up to the light. He sees me, umbrella in one hand, huge gas can in the other.  I get to my friends can just as the patrol car makes his turn and drives past us. Yup, past, as in didn't stop. We get the safety valve on the can open and start adding gas to her tank when a SUV pulls up and out pops another friend of mine.  She had seen me and wanted to make sure I wasn't the one needing help. Thankfully she had an umbrella because in order to hold the gas can I'd had to put mine down.  So now there are three ladies standing in the road filling up a tank.  One is holding the safety valve open, I'm tilting the can up and the other is holding the umbrella. A pick-up goes by and we hear two men laughing through the open slit of their window.  Nice. I'm sure we were a sight, wet hair sticking to our faces, none of us wearing anything warm enough to be out there, obviously ran the tank too long on empty. We have no idea how much gas is getting into the tank or how much she even needs before it will start again so we decide to check what the dash board says.  To do this we stop filling, take the can to the curb and wait. Nothing. So back we go, fingers freezing, trying to re-open the safety valve and add more gas. We are the perfect cliche of ditsy women.  Second time is the charm and she is able to get the car started. We say our goodbyes, I retrieve my umbrella, pick up my now lighter gas can and walk back home. I'm cold, I'm wet, my just washed and styled hair is a mess, I got laughed at. Being a friend is hard sometimes. Being a good friend can be a full time job sometimes. I am so glad I have friends that know they can count on me and friends that will stop in the rain when they see me on the side of the road.  I'm so glad I have friends I don't need to keep score with. This friend of mine? The one who ran out of gas? She takes care of me too.  She's driving me to the Airport in a few weeks and then picking my kids up from school.  Stand in the rain for her? You bet I will!

"To Fat for Prom"

            I  hate shopping. I hate HATE shopping - unless it's for shoes (but that's another story).  It started when I was a kid and my mom would list all the types of clothes I was too fat for. I was taller and thicker than most kids my age but I wasn't even chubby.  It got worse as I got older and got into high school.  I was too "fat" for a two piece bathing suit and too "fat" to go to prom.  I was too fat for skirts and dresses with belts and shorts......The thing was, I wasn't.  I was 5'4" 138lbs and a size 8.  My mother would sigh and say, "At least you have baby making hips. Some guy is really going to appreciate that about you and you guys will have tons of babies." That is such a mean thing to tell a young girl barely into puberty!  I've grown a little since then and I've lost 20lbs. I now wear a size 2 or a 4 depending on the store.  Shopping should be fun now but it's not.
       
             My sister is getting married so I need a new dress.  Hubby kept the kids and I took the day to go to the mall.  I was afraid to try on dresses that might make my legs look chunky or that would make my hips look too big. I was afraid to try on dresses that would flare at the waist.  I spent four and a half hours shopping, I only tried on three dresses and I hated how I looked in all of them.  By the time I got home I was depressed, stressed and had a raging headache.  I told Hubby I'm just wearing my black dress that I've had for years and that I feel comfortable in (but I'm getting new boots to wear with it!). 

            It shouldn't still be like this. I know I'm thin. When I wear clothes I already own I feel great; but, when I go shopping, I suddenly fall back into the same feelings I had as a kid and I hear my mothers voice in my head again.  The logic is all there: she was wrong then, it certainly isn't true now yet, I can't shake it.  Hubby wants to take me dress shopping (I usually only clothes shop if he takes/makes me).  He shouldn't have to make me shop (seriously, how twisted is this?)

            I'm working on getting over this. I can't undo the hurt that was done to me but I can make sure not to repeat it.  I'm working on not doing this to my own daughter.  I will always tell her how beautiful she is - even when her body is changing from a little girl's to an awkward teen's. I will always tell her how amazing she is no matter her size or shape.  I will always tell her how pretty I think I am and let her see my self confidence.  I want her to LOVE to shop - because she knows how great her own unique body is.

Cutting Faces

Halloween is this weekend. The kids are very excited. The front of our house is all decorated and last night it was finally time to carve the pumpkins.  When I was a new mom I did the pumpkin by myself. Hubby didn't want to help and the baby couldn't. For the first three years this is how it was. Then the boys started to be old enough and instead of the mess of trying to carve with them I let them paint pumpkins instead.  They never looked like faces, just like globs of black paint from too many colors being mixed together and smeared everywhere.  Two years ago we didn't get big pumpkins we got three little ones. They all painted their little pumpkins and for the first time they actually had discernible faces.  Last year with all the moving going on we bought one big pumpkin but never actually carved it.  This year we went to a farm and picked our pumpkins ourselves.  Last night we all worked together like a well oiled machine each taking a part in the process. I cut off the tops, Hubby scooped and the kids designed faces (that I carved to their exact specifications), We knocked them out really quickly.  It was so much fun and so stress free. It was yet another reminder that time is passing and my babies are growing up before my eyes.  The era of paint slapped onto a pumpkin with little hands is gone. The era of having to do it all myself has come to an end. As much as it annoyed me to display pumpkins that looked diseased, I miss that time. When Halloween meant I had holiday coloring pages covering every spare space of wall and the scariest thing they wanted to be was a lion or a police man. I have no coloring pictures and my ceramic ghosts go un-played with this year. I will be taking a vampire, a zombie and Boba Fett out this weekend. This year my home has three jack-o-lanterns that look amazing.  As cool as they are, they annoy me.  They are a glowing reminder of what I have lost forever. A little poke to the heart that I may not have enjoyed that time as much as I could have.  I feel this overwhelming desire to hit rewind or at least pause so I can keep them younger just a little bit longer. I love these guys. I know it, they know it. It's just a little weird to feel it so strongly while cutting faces.

They are among us.......

Many people think superheroes don't exist.  These people are wrong. Super Heroes are amung us. I am living proof. I am a superhero.

I have speed. I am able to clean, do laundry, rake, walk dogs, etc and yet still pull a sheet of homemade cut out sugar cookies out of the oven as the kids walk in the door for them to ice for Halloween all before I start dinner.

I have healing powers.  A splinter, a scratch, a scraped knee? These have no power against me.  With a gentle touch, a band-aid and a kiss I can heal.

I can read minds. I know if a playroom wasn't cleaned just by looking at their face. I know if home work was left undone without having to ask. I know if someone was picking a fight with a sibling.  I know. I can read minds.

Some of you may argue that I'm just a mom. I disagree. Just as Spider Man's body was altered on a DNA level, mine was as well. This anomoly is called pregnancy. I did not have these powers before that strange event. The truth is -  I Am ~ A Super Hero! The truth is, some of you may be super heroes too...............

Come Home and Stay

I have two dogs. My female is four years old, 45lbs and the sweetest dog anyone could ever hope for. My male will be one this winter and though he is a puppy with all that that implies he is a sweetheart and we love him.  The female is "my" dog and the pup is my husbands. This was not by design but rather by the dogs choosing. 
Titonius is suppose to be 25lbs but he is only 15lbs. I don't know why but I've nicknamed him Boo much to Hubby's dismay. He is a boy-boy. Loves to fight, play and run. He throws the ball for himself and will threaten anyone who dares come to our door. He has recently gotten the hang of the school bus hours. 10 - 15 minutes before the bus shows up he is looking out the window for it. Once the boys start to leave he begs them not to go and then runs from window to door for a good 20 minutes hoping they are coming right back. Then the pre-k bus comes and we go through all this again ending with a walk through the house wimpering. And when it is time for that bus to bring the boys home in the afternoon? He is at the window a half hour prior wining at any bus that passes. He is so excited everytime they walk through that door. Dogs are smart creatures and it is so cool to watch him look for that bus KNOWING it is coming. Thank you for loving our boys Titon.

Princess is a girl all-the-way. My daughter can put bracelets, hairbands and necklaces on her and she likes it! She would rather hang with the girls than rough house with the boys. She even likes to get her claws painted. As much as she loves playing with my daughter she is MY dog.

Last night my little girl wanted Princess to sleep with her. Normally Princess is where ever I am so I wasn't sure how this would work but I told her to get on the bed. My little girl wrapped her arms around Princess' neck and settled in for sleep. Princess was fine with this until she realized that I was leaving the room. With a hand on her side I asked her to STAY. She wasn't happy but she did it and she didn't move until two hours later when Hubby and I were getting ready for bed. He called the dogs to go outside one last time. Princess didn't come but I heard her whimper. I went up to the room, she was waiting for me to tell her she could leave and go outside.  This made my eyes well up. Knowing that my girl loves me so much is pretty special but knowing that she will stay by my children if I need her to is a much more powerful gift. Thank you Princess for all you give me.