Cutting Faces

Halloween is this weekend. The kids are very excited. The front of our house is all decorated and last night it was finally time to carve the pumpkins.  When I was a new mom I did the pumpkin by myself. Hubby didn't want to help and the baby couldn't. For the first three years this is how it was. Then the boys started to be old enough and instead of the mess of trying to carve with them I let them paint pumpkins instead.  They never looked like faces, just like globs of black paint from too many colors being mixed together and smeared everywhere.  Two years ago we didn't get big pumpkins we got three little ones. They all painted their little pumpkins and for the first time they actually had discernible faces.  Last year with all the moving going on we bought one big pumpkin but never actually carved it.  This year we went to a farm and picked our pumpkins ourselves.  Last night we all worked together like a well oiled machine each taking a part in the process. I cut off the tops, Hubby scooped and the kids designed faces (that I carved to their exact specifications), We knocked them out really quickly.  It was so much fun and so stress free. It was yet another reminder that time is passing and my babies are growing up before my eyes.  The era of paint slapped onto a pumpkin with little hands is gone. The era of having to do it all myself has come to an end. As much as it annoyed me to display pumpkins that looked diseased, I miss that time. When Halloween meant I had holiday coloring pages covering every spare space of wall and the scariest thing they wanted to be was a lion or a police man. I have no coloring pictures and my ceramic ghosts go un-played with this year. I will be taking a vampire, a zombie and Boba Fett out this weekend. This year my home has three jack-o-lanterns that look amazing.  As cool as they are, they annoy me.  They are a glowing reminder of what I have lost forever. A little poke to the heart that I may not have enjoyed that time as much as I could have.  I feel this overwhelming desire to hit rewind or at least pause so I can keep them younger just a little bit longer. I love these guys. I know it, they know it. It's just a little weird to feel it so strongly while cutting faces.