How To: PLAN A DISASTER

Okay, so here's the deal. My husband wants a surprise birthday party. It's a big birthday for him so I get it. He is a very good Hubby (mostly) so he deserves it. My problem? I have two actually.........

Problem #1)
He never celebrates my birthday! This year I told him in no uncertain terms that my birthday was going to get celebrated or his wouldn't. My birthday is a full month and a half before his. He FINALLY took me out last weekend. Oh! And I got the babysitter, picked the place, sat him down at the computer so he could send me an e-card before we left and even had to keep reminding him so he wouldn't forget the date.  And, there were no gifts. I get that this is hard for him, I had a great time and I don't mind having to orchestrate it all myself as long as his heart is in the right place about it. But I don't think he can ask for a Big Surprise Birthday Party if he can't even say Happy B-day to me and get me a card without serious prompting. And, seriously, six weeks past my birthday and a week before he wants a party?????

Anyway, because I love him, and because I am a complete pushover when it comes to him I am trying to throw him a surprise party, uh, TOMORROW! Oh, gosh! This is all so awful!

Problem #2)
My husband is a bit of a beast. Most people, well, they don't really like him.  He looks like he's on steroids, he is very, very smart.  Everything he says, whether it is nice, a joke, a suggestion or an insult sounds the same -mean. It is hard to talk to someone who looks like that, sounds like that and also knows what they are talking about. Oh, did I mention he has no patience? Especially for stupidity.  Who in the world am I suppose to invite to this disaster??? (I mean, party)
I invited his family, one of his long time friends and one of his co-workers as well as one of the guys he coaches with. I didn't even bother with trying anybody from his football team, they love him on the field but he gets more penalties than anyone else and is always yelling at his own team. I really don't think they would come.

image from: http://www.sconefest.com/john/blog/marvel/hulk_m.jpg

The funny thing is, he is a really great guy, He paid to take my baby sister and brother to Disney World because they have never been, he coaches 6-8 football, he does dishes and laundry and takes care of the yard. He takes his boys to boy scouts. He even takes me clothes shopping.  He deserves this - even if he does act like the Incredible Hulk in front of everyone else. I really hope this does not turn into a huge disappointment...................