I'm married, I have children - all by the same man, I have a dog, I cook and bake, clean, tend my flower garden, I volunteer, help with the children's activities, I'm a Christian.........
This side of me is not a fraud. I like all these things. Yet, there is another side of me which is equally real. I love adventure and travel. I've visited between 10 and 15 of the States and 3 other countries, I've eaten strange foods, I've swam in both oceans.....
The problem is I cannot have both these lives at the same time. To do one I have to take a break from the other. Don't get me wrong, I still camp - but the kids come with. We took the motorcycle to Atlantic City this summer, but that meant setting up a weekend babysitter. I still travel, but my last long trip was a road trip to Disney World. Part of me aches for the freedom to move around as I use to. Part of me is REALLY enjoying calm hours in the garden while a New York style Cheesecake chills in the house which, we eat later that night while playing Monopoly.
The older the kids get, the more freedom I get. The older the kids get the more time I want to spend with them. Time goes so fast. It will be over so soon. So, my conclusion is this: I did what I could, I do what I can. My time will come again.
My children are having some fun adventures. I am being the engaged mother I want to be. The best part is, my children get to see that I am a real person with wants and dreams. They get to see that I am not a slave to the family or society and that taking care of ones self is healthy - not selfish.
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